About

My Story-  “But God, I Still Cannot Read the Bible Out Loud.”

As a dyslexic, for years I thought I would be the last person to write a blog; I barely read books. And when I was young, I struggled so much to read, I just listened and paid attention.

Recognizing my eagerness to learn, the fourth-grade teachers gave me an IQ test and determined I should be placed with the gifted track of students. In the mornings we would hear motivational speakers encourage us to be leaders. Be a senator, not just a congressman, they would say. Aspire to be a governor, not just the mayor. It was all very encouraging, but also baffling for me because I spent the second half of my day in reading lab with the most remedial students of the entire school. The other part of my elementary experience was recess and after school activities on the playground where I was always team captain, game organizer, volunteer referee and score keeper.

My abilities were a rainbow of assets and liabilities, going from one side of the landscape to the other. Mathematics, verbal communication and sports were my forte, while transmitting information from my head to my hand was difficult. Because my reading skills at the time were slow compared to others, I would take fewer classes, sometimes signing up for a full load, but dropping down to 10 – 12 units if a teacher simply would not make accommodations for my learning disability.

I vividly remember my college English teacher giving one of my papers A/F.  He said, “What you’re writing is great, but how you’re writing it is atrocious.”  Incredulous that I was receiving an A for the final semester grade since my spelling and writing were so remedial, my professor said, “You’re getting an A because you earned it, but please do not tell anyone.”  After that, I never enrolled in another English class.  Why tempt fate a second time? And I thought to myself, “I’ve never had an A in English before, so I’m telling everyone!”

Throughout my academic career I was enrolled in reading labs and special classes even when earning my master’s degree. The seminary said that I must participate in reading assistance classes, or I’d never make it through graduate school. It seemed a never-ending battle.

I still continue to work hard at reading and writing, and as I reflect back, I praise God for the people He brought into my life to help refine me and keep me going.   Writing was difficult for me, but my attempt at typing was a disaster, so I solved this dilemma by hiring people willing to type for me.  Every secretary who worked with me was invaluable as they deciphered my handwriting and misspelled words. But two people in particular helped me with completion of my education and propelled me from being a house painter construction worker to becoming someone able to graduate from high school, college and seminary. 

In my younger days, it was my mother, Catherine Jappe. She was an English teacher who poured herself into correcting my papers and patiently teaching me so I could use the skills God had given me as a dyslexic.  Had my mother not been alongside to assist me all those years, I would have been too frustrated and quit school altogether.

The other inspiration of my life was my wife Janet. In the autumn of 1981 during our final year of school we met in the library of Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Fort Worth, TX.  She was at a table perusing the book from Dr. Jack Terry’s Philosophy of Education class, a course I was also taking. I made arrangements with his secretary to sit next to Janet in class, creating a seat where space was not there.  

I love the subject of philosophy, but I was also looking forward to knowing more about Janet Hankins. For one thing, we had two completely different learning styles.  She took copious notes from the lecture and read the book. I wrote few notes and listened to the lectures. Not being familiar with dyslexia, when Janet glanced at my notes, they gave her the impression that I must be bored and was developing my own shorthand. Though my notes were few, I remembered details from the lectures, and she marveled at how easy it was for me to retain the ideology of each philosopher.  

Our friendship grew. I was drawn to her smile and engaging love for the Lord, and I was secretly pleased to know of her desire to be a wife and mother.  As our relationship became more serious, Janet disclosed to me of the time when she walked home from classes at Virginia Tech pondering what she considered the Lord stirring in her heart.

As she settled down in the kitchen filled with an aroma of homemade honey whole-wheat bread her mother had made that afternoon she said, “Mom, do you know what I really want to do? I want to be a pastor’s wife. Does that sound crazy?  I don’t want to work in church for pay to tell others about Jesus, I want to give HIs love away.”  She brought that desire before the Lord and let it marinate for the next few years, finishing her Bachelor of Science degree at Virginia Tech and work as a secretary and insurance clerk for Dr. Beorn’s office of Internal Medicine. 

Meanwhile, on the opposite coast of the United States in Southern California, I was continuing my degree in physical education but deeply involved in as many Christian activities as possible: Sunday morning and evening worship services at my church,  Monday night Bible Study Fellowship in Oceanside, Tuesday night church visitation, Wednesday evening Christian concerts that eventually became Horizon Church, and on Thursday nights I was the leader of InterVarsity at Mesa College. 

I still marvel that at nineteen years of age God was calling me into the ministry, because I thought I would become a coach. The most difficult classes in my major were completed:  anatomy, physiology, kinesiology and exercise physiology.  Working hard to excel in each one, I had done well. At the same time speech class revealed that public speaking came easily for me. Simply no written reports, just get up and talk.  Right up my alley!  The class was roaring as I did imitations of Bill Cosby, Humorous Speech: A+. And I was at the top of my class for both informative and extemporaneous speeches. 

On the day I was to give my persuasive speech a fellow student reminded me while walking to class that I was due to talk.  I had completely forgot about it! So, on the way to the classroom I gathered my thoughts.  I had it all in my head and no notes.  After my delivery the professor said, “That’s what I mean! Intro, point, point, point, facts, conclusion…that’s an A!”   

Other courses in my curriculum were easy: wear sweats all day, stay in shape, encourage students, and coach track.  I thought, what could be easier than training athletes how to run on a track faster and faster. But being an athletic coach was not God’s plan for my life.  What He was calling me to do was coach people in life, not just in sports.  It was my desire to be a pastor, but I still did not know if I would be able to do that. To drive home the seriousness of weighing this out, I’ll share a painful story from my past that involved two friends who were fascinated by my dyslexic challenges. 

While on the way to a pizza dinner with darling girlfriends for a triple date, I can vividly remember Michael Usey, who later would be my best man, bet my friend Jeff Culp that I could not spell the word pizza.  The game was on!  First resisting but then with the excited girls cheering me on, I began  P.. I.. Z.. Z..  My attempt hung in the balance with the final letter, but Jeff and our dates were confident I could pull it off, until without a clue I guessed: “E”! 

Sighs of their disappointment filled the car; what an embarrassing moment that made God’s call for me to be a pastor seem even more ludicrous and unattainable.  How was this to happen?  Perhaps I should be a camp director or serve in church recreation; I was even open to mission work.  I just wanted to be available.

Upon reflection, my family supplied every advantage for me to be a pastor.  My father Fred Jappe taught New Testament, Science and Religion at Mesa Community College.  The often-repeated proverb, “Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17) expresses the relationship I have with my father.  Growing up, he would take me to great lectures.  

On one occasion we heard Canadian Astrophysicist Dr. Hugh Ross explain the creation of the universe, showing how the biblical account matches with human science.  Afterwards my father and I would have dialogues, making sure we both knew the essence of the presentation.  Many of these discussions with my dad were about the conjunction of science andreligion, from the start of the universe to the beginning of life.  

He also led me to read the writings of C.S. Lewis, in particular Mere Christianity which was crucial to my father coming to faith in Christ during his late teens.  I have now read this great book several times.  My father and I would also discuss the theology of John Calvin pro and con ad nauseum.  

My two sisters also inspired me. My older sister Claudia felt a calling for the mission field and has spent 40 years serving in Latin America. One time I asked her how many times she had read through the Bible, and she said she stopped counting at twenty. I decided right then and there that I was going to read the Bible twenty times straight through, and as of this writing I am about to finish my nineteenth time.  I’m thankful for this sister who has made it her life’s work to teach people the whole Panorama of the Bible.   

My younger sister Laura served two years as a journeyman missionary, ministering to refugee boat people in the Philippines.  I can remember her coming out of the kitchen quoting the chapter of Romans 12 word for word. I thought if Laura could do that, so could I, and I began memorizing chapters at a time.  Since then I have asked our mission teams to memorize passages and have encouraged them to start with Romans 12.  

The church I was attending during college was strong, and people took the Gospel seriously.  My training was formal, but also informal; two of my groomsmen have spent their entire professional lives in the pastorate.  Being a pastor was what the Lord was calling me to do and what He has allowed.  As His call became clearer in my life, I had an honest prayer of clarity, “But God, I still cannot read the Bible out loud.  That is the Book everyone is using.”  But the Lord simply encouraged me to continue taking steps forward and that He would do it in and through me.  

Dealing with the struggles I had in reading, it was not always easy to grasp the full counsel of God in my life, so when I received an inheritance from my grandmother, I used part of it to purchase the preaching ministry of Pastor Chuck Smith. As pastor of Calvary Chapel in Costa Mesa, CA he preached through the entire Bible.  This was how I was able to expand my understanding of God’s Word. 

Since I am an oral learner, I chose to buy the entire Bible on tape.  While daily reading through my own Bible, I would listen to the same passages being read on the cassette so I could hear how to pronounce difficult words and names.   

At the same time and the same age, God was preparing Janet at opposite sides of the continent to be a suitable helpmate for me. She headed for Southwestern in the fall of 1979, where we found one another during our final year in 1981. East met West in the middle of Cow Town, Fort Worth, Texas, America’s geographical center and the beginning of the West. 

Janet became one of the students who had great joy and potential, pursued by prospective pastors marking off their mental list. Does she play the piano? Check! Does she sing?Does she play the organ?Guitar? Check! Check! Check! But for Janet and me, it wasn’t like that. We declared our love for one another that spring and once I spoke with her parents about my intentions, we made plans for a wedding. 

And though this is hard to believe, I had never heard her sing in church until we were already engaged, and at that point, I was smitten. One summer Sunday morning before I stood up to preach to the Glade Baptist Church congregation as a guest speaker, Janet sang, her voice like that of an angel.  In my mind I reasoned, Either that was fantastic, or I have lost all perspective.  But truly she is a gifted singer.  It was with great joy that we would begin our life together in service to God as pastor and wife that fall of 1982. 

I could not have chosen a more suitable helpmate. Upon completing a Master of Religious Education, Janet received further training from conferences in Glorieta, New Mexico, served many years as Sunday school teacher for children, designed the education space at Bryant Street Baptist Church, and exhibited a tender heart for the poor in our mission work. 

Janet’s administrative skills continued to lend support over the next 36+ years as she moved in and out of office work in the churches where we really pastored together.  As my ministry partner Janet was the one who read the eulogies during funerals, something I would have completely stumbled over since many were handwritten notes given to me at the last minute. What could have been a dyslexic’s nightmare and embarrassment became thoughtful expressions of love and grace when Janet read them on behalf of the family. 

Her sensitivity and bedside manner were comforting for listeners at hospitals and memorial services.  Psalm 104:33,34 says, “I will sing unto the LORD as long as I live: I will sing praise to my God while I have my being. My mediation of him shall be sweet: I will be glad in the LORD.” This was a scriptural command that Janet considered seriously; the voice the LORD gave to her was given back in service to Him. Her exuberance, joy and clarity in singing was useful for weddings, memorials or leading congregations in worship. She had a cooperative spirit, singing in understated harmony or stepping forward and leading out when participating in choirs or ensembles.

And it was God who was leading us in this remarkable life, first as individuals, but later as husband and wife, the preacher and the singer, the big picture man and the detailed woman brought together and useful to Him to not only grow a family, but also a church and ministry.  Thank you, dear Lord, that the calling and the gifting go together.

In our marriage vows before God, our family and our friends who were gathered we made a promise to remain faithful in our love to one another and in our service to Christ and to His church.  The verse we selected for our wedding program was Psalm 34:3 “O magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt His name together,” and that has been our desire and purpose as we give Him all the glory for what we have witnessed in our years of ministry.